The Story of Ruth

A story from Karen Cirulli, who listens to and loves on the people of Aurora as an AmeriCorps Volunteer sponsored by Awake:

Ruth is an 80 yr old woman who I met a couple of months ago at the Sun Hill Motel. Ruth suffers from dementia and is also bi-polar. Ruth has many layers..like any of us, but her layers are..thick, magnified and twisted by her illness. Slowly Ruth was able to trust me and let me into her room..and life. I came to see that she had no support of family or friends. She was completely alone except for the very occasional visit from a social worker who Ruth would not allow into her room.

The office staff at the Sun Hill would care for her as much as possible but this care was often viewed by Ruth as inadequate. Under her layers of paranoia and frustration I found Ruth to be very very funny and a pleasure to be with. In the same breath, spending time with her was honestly quite difficult because she often cried a lot about the loss of her relationship with her son, she was confused and often angry. The Sun Hill could no longer care for Ruth or tolerate the drama that seemed to affect other tenants. Ruth had to be evicted.

Ruth of course did not want to go and voiced her opinion about the matter. Before long, the folks in charge of Ruth’s care were arranging for her to be picked up via ambulance along with two cop cars. Last Tuesday was pretty surreal for me as I sat with Ruth in her room while the ambulance, cops and her case manager sat out in the parking lot. The way it was supposed to all go down seemed so wrong to me. Without any communication, everyone showed up and just sat in the parking lot. No one came in to explain or prepare Ruth for what was about to happen..that she should pack an overnight back..where she was going..why the ambulance was there..nothing. The surprise approach was apparently what would work best with this 80 year old woman.

I went out to find out what was going on and I was told that Ruth was going to NW hospital until they could find another facility for her. When I returned to her room I shared the news. Within a short time Ruth had her bag packed. We stood in her room looking out the window at the crowd that had now gathered. Ruth cried, we hugged. Ruth then stood up straight and said that she had to look strong. I asked if she was ready to face the music..she said yes and I opened the door.

A gurney had been pulled up to her door, the two police officers were right there, the case managers and the paramedics. Ruth yelled and told them to get away as she walked toward the gurney. They tried to touch her but she insisted on sitting on her own (I was so proud of her). Ruth had quite a few colorful words and gestures to share .. (I probably would too if I felt the way she did).

My friend was then taken to the hospital where when I saw her next she was SWEET AS PIE..due to something that she was given. (..I must say.. I know all those folks were doing their job, I think I am disturbed more by the system then anything).

Since that day ,Ruth has been moved to the Psych ward at Northwest. On day two when I saw her, she didn’t recognize me and couldn’t speak very well. It was extremely sad and it was actually scary to see how much she had changed (due to the meds she was put on). Over the next couple of visits she has been better and more “with it” then before. Through all of this, I haven’t seen anyone else visiting her or helping her out. I’m still working on finding out if the lawyer who has power of attorney is taking action..if it is all behind the scenes and I just don’t know that folks are indeed advocating for her. I believe that Ruth will be there for another week and some until she is moved. I called her power of attorney to let her know that there is a community in Greenwood that would love to have her close by if indeed there is a facility in the area.

My hope is that Ruth will be moved somewhere locally where at least she will have a chance at feeling loved and supported.

I’m clinging to hope with my eyes closed and fists clenched believing that God is with her, that there is hope for her and that she is loved by more than me.